It’s now a couple days after my first half marathon and I’m still trying to process the experience. From lining up in a sea of 21,000 people (and tripping over one or two of them), to the pain in my left foot that continues to annoy me two days later, I am so thankful to say that it was one of the most profound experiences of my life. After 6 months of training, a shit ton of money spent on gu’s, shoes and a weekend in Miami, I’m completely and utterly grateful that the experience actually ended up being meaningful.
It made a lasting impact in several ways. When the race began, I thought, "only one/twenty-onethousandth of this is about me". However, as the race started I soon realized it was all about me. As I was training and prepping for the race, people kept asking me what charity I was running for. My mom even asked me just the week before.
My response: "me".
Surely that sounded selfish, but while I was running, somewhere around mile 5, while feeling a little selfish about the whole thing as I’m passing (yes, i said it) men pushing kids in wheel chairs and others on cancer fighting missions, it occurred to me that this selfish investment will (hopefully) make me a greater asset to my family and community around me.
Several months ago, Perry Noble wrote a blog about paying the price for being a leader. While running this thing wasn’t about leadership for me, rather about personal development, I believe there is also value and honor in paying a price for growth. If you’re not willing to invest in yourself, why would anyone else be? When I wrote the checks for Blogrocket and Tentblogger it was out of the same mindset, that any cost that gets you closer to the goal, is worth it. I want to be a writer. . .that takes time AND money. I want to be a better me . . .that takes time AND money. It takes money, to make money.
A word of caution though. You have to be cautious that whatever activity it is that you choose to invest in, will truly have a long term impact. If you use this approach just to validate a desire saying, the money and time I am investing on this trip or hobby, will make me a better a person, you could very well be wasting the resources God has given you, if in fact it doesn’t take you out of your comfort zone.
It is outside of our neat and tidy little boxes, that we grow. Where we change. Where we become the individuals God has called us to be, rather than the robot the world expects us to be. It is in those last two miles, where everything hurts and burns, when you’re leaning only on God and not on your own strength or ability, that you realize that without Him, you are nothing. That there is no way on His gorgeous green earth, that you could do this of your own accord, and that without pain there would be no reward.
to God be the glory, great things he hath done, IN me.
This is excellent, Lindsey. It's amazing to me how I get to look around my friends - my set of peers - and see re-birth after re-birth. I see that in you. I see the dawning of a new you and the growth you've experienced (and shared with the world) as a result of challenges in your life. Thank you for being an inspiration and thank you for choosing to not keep all these wonderful experiences and lessons to yourself. It's in sharing that we develop community, even if what we share is the stories that made us stronger.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Gil! It really is amazing what can and will be revealed if you'll just open up your eyes and heart to God's grace!
ReplyDeleteDon Miller's book, "A Million Miles In A Thousand Years", talks a lot about "taking someone with you" on journeys such as these. The blog has turned out to be such a great medium for that!
Beyond thrilled you're along for the ride!