Something is just not right. I don't know what it is. The only way to describe it is that it seems like there is some imbalance between my head and my heart. It's hard to explain, but it feels as if I'm somehow missing the point. Like God is either trying to scream at me some truth that I just can't seem to hear, or like He is taking the more subtle approach and letting me figure it out on my own. Either way, I do not even know what it is about.
It's affecting my writing which scares me the most, since I jumped on this crazy rollercoaster ride, thinking He at the controls. I feel like I'm just missing the point. I don't feel like I've found my voice yet nor has a focus for what I'm writing about still hasn't seemed to float to the surface.
Wordpress is becoming my mortal enemy. I have no idea why in the world I feel so compelled to use it, but I know that is the next step in the journey, however, after weeks of trying to figure it out, it still doesn't click in my brain. Last week, I reset my password and now my dashboard is gone. Honestly, that feels more like the enemy's attack than anything else, because now it is a hurdle I have no idea how to jump so I'll likely put it off a few more weeks. He found my weak spot and went right for it.
Am I not reading the write book? Do I need to go to a conference? What is it? Church has been sucking so I haven't been going. Leaving my church doesn't seem like the right thing to do right now, so I guess I just need to find another way to get fed during my little sabatical. I try to feed myself by reading and watching sermons, hoping for some spark of understanding, but it feels like I'm trying to light a candle over and over again and it just won't ignite.
What do you do in situations like this? Where do I go from here?
Showing posts with label wordpress. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wordpress. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Mid Week Check In
I started the week, feeling behind in most aspects of my life. On day 3 of the New Year, I wrote about feeling like I was already slacking on my goals and afraid of not making any head way. As prayed for, God answered my prayers, helping me to pull my head out of my funk and get back into a far more productive and creative mindset.
After writing and posting the blog Monday morning, I did get out for a run, albeit, not a good one. All that mattered though was simply that I had gotten out of the house and that my feet were hitting the pavement. Distance, time, breathing patterns were all irrelevant as I simply strode towards the goal of getting in 4 runs this week.
By the end of the day, not only had I met that goal, but also knocked out the goal of having 3 blog posts ready to go for the week, in the event that I didn’t get a chance to sit down and write any more. Additionally, I helped Jeff get a major editing project done for his blog, tackled some chores and called it a day, feeling like I’d dug myself out of the hole.
Starting the week off with a quite, yet productive Monday certainly helped. Tuesday was a blur, being back at work for the first time in two weeks, followed by dinner with my girl friends, and the random emotional punch to the gut. Even with all that I did begin to make some strides in figuring out my Word Press page and what I want that to look and feel like. I closed out the day, with a Just Give Me Jesus, and knew that it was all going to work out just fine.
Yesterday, I made even more headway in figuring out what wordpress theme I want to use (standard) and did more research on how to make this blogging outlet something relevant and substantial for those of you who are bothering to read it. Again, I saw the benefits of starting the day early, with a four mile run, as I was focused and intentional with how I spent my time throughout the day. Progress, even in baby steps, is all that matters at this point.
Despite the runny nose, post nasal drip, headache, stuffy head feeling that I have going on, I really do feel like I’ve had a productive week. I feel like I’m getting somewhere, accomplishing something, working hard to pursue a goal, several in fact. Again, I don’t know where this is going, but I hope you’ll stick around and watch as God reveals his divine plan as I believe it will be good. Very good!
After writing and posting the blog Monday morning, I did get out for a run, albeit, not a good one. All that mattered though was simply that I had gotten out of the house and that my feet were hitting the pavement. Distance, time, breathing patterns were all irrelevant as I simply strode towards the goal of getting in 4 runs this week.
By the end of the day, not only had I met that goal, but also knocked out the goal of having 3 blog posts ready to go for the week, in the event that I didn’t get a chance to sit down and write any more. Additionally, I helped Jeff get a major editing project done for his blog, tackled some chores and called it a day, feeling like I’d dug myself out of the hole.
Starting the week off with a quite, yet productive Monday certainly helped. Tuesday was a blur, being back at work for the first time in two weeks, followed by dinner with my girl friends, and the random emotional punch to the gut. Even with all that I did begin to make some strides in figuring out my Word Press page and what I want that to look and feel like. I closed out the day, with a Just Give Me Jesus, and knew that it was all going to work out just fine.
Yesterday, I made even more headway in figuring out what wordpress theme I want to use (standard) and did more research on how to make this blogging outlet something relevant and substantial for those of you who are bothering to read it. Again, I saw the benefits of starting the day early, with a four mile run, as I was focused and intentional with how I spent my time throughout the day. Progress, even in baby steps, is all that matters at this point.
Despite the runny nose, post nasal drip, headache, stuffy head feeling that I have going on, I really do feel like I’ve had a productive week. I feel like I’m getting somewhere, accomplishing something, working hard to pursue a goal, several in fact. Again, I don’t know where this is going, but I hope you’ll stick around and watch as God reveals his divine plan as I believe it will be good. Very good!
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