the faithful ramblings a late bloomer. . .

the faithful musings of a four letter word user on a quest for authenticity.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

What If?

Honestly, don’t you just love it when you read something and it’s like ah ha moment crack? I know I’m referencing Steven Furtick a lot here, but holy cow, the dude is good! His blog today totally sunk and I fully encourage you to click on the this word in blue and read it.

When I was driving to work this morning, I was thinking that I have an unhealthy relationship with decisions. As I’ve grown and faced some adversity, my decisions seem to carry a lot of weight and I think I’ve settled into the false reality of there are good decisions and bad decisions, with no in between. If I make the right decision, hoorah; if I make the wrong decision it’s a mandatory 7 years in purgatory.

That’s the conclusion I came to when I was driving to work this morning, and then as soon as I sat down at the computer, that still small voice beckoned me to the afore mentioned blog. So, I’m going to apply a little more “what if” to my decision making.

What if, I quit my job to write full time and I can’t buy Christmas presents?
What if, I say yes to the boy whose flame once flickered?
What if, I put all my stuff in storage and get on a boat?

Honestly, I feel as if God is telling me to do all these things. As I typed all that out, I really realized that is what is really going on here. But what if I fail and have no job to come back to? What if he hurts me again? What if I come back from my journey and have no place to return to?
What if my friends and family don't support me?

What if?

1 comment:

  1. Lindsey,

    God's call for us to trust Him - that voice in your head that compels you to dare to dream big - is oftentimes tempered by the other voice in our heads - usually that of our mother - that reminds us it's better to be safe than sorry. In between those two thoughts is where 'what if' lives.

    I know I have a pocketful of regrets, things I wish I had done but didn't because I decided to play it safe at that time. Still, those don't measure up - not even close - to the memories I have as a result of taking a chance on what my heart was telling me to do. Deciding to take a risk and agree to write Lives was huge for me, and doing so has opened up so many doors for me as a writer. I've also been hurt by someone else's inability to take chance, and that has influenced my outlook on life in terms of not allowing myself to be paralyzed by fear or other people's opinions.

    If you feel it in your heart and you know it in your soul to be right, then do it.